


Lightning Lungs

by Dragonsjustice



Series: All of Your Faves are Queer-Seriously, All of Them [2]
Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Agender Character, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eddie is agender F I G H T ME, Fluff and Angst, Gender Dysphoria?, Minor Eddie Thawne/Iris West, Trans Male Character, What the fuck did I just write, seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-25
Updated: 2015-10-25
Packaged: 2018-04-27 20:48:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 935
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5063590
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dragonsjustice/pseuds/Dragonsjustice
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He's a boy. Always has been, always will be.</p><p>So why is it so hard for some people to see?</p><p>(Or, the one where Barry is a trans boy and how that somehow effects everything else-and nothing at all.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lightning Lungs

**Author's Note:**

> What the fuck did I just write? I have no idea. But it's not terrible, so here.
> 
> Take my pathetic AU trash. 
> 
> I have not seen too many episodes of The Flash, but I did just watch several in a row so I have it on the brain.

His dad is technically the first person that he tells (or at least tries to tell), even before his mom.

He's  _terrified,_ as much as a six year old can really be terrified by anything other than the monsters that crept around in the dark.

So he scrawls a note in the handwriting that nobody but himself can read and tapes it to the fridge. 

He doesn't think that they  _mean_ to call him the wrong words. They just don't know any better. But they're parents-aren't they supposed to know everything?

He finally tells them when he's eight and knows that he's a boy. He says that he isn't going to be Jennifer anymore. 

That he's going to be Barry (the name, not the fruit like his mom will always tease him), and that he's a boy. 

He always has been. 

Barry's mom takes a pair of scissors the next morning and cuts off his hair until it's nice and short. Like his dad's is.

* * *

Iris is the next person that he tells.

It's pretty easy, since they're best friends and practically grew up in each others houses. 

She messes up a few times and calls him "Jenny," but then she apologizes and repeats herself with the right name.

Joe catches on pretty quickly, and soon it's always "how's your son going?" and "where's Barry? Iris has been looking for him for the past fifteen minutes."

That's part of the reason why the kids at school hate him so much. Barry doesn't really understand that.

But now he knows how to run. And fight sometimes, too.

His dad calls him "Slugger." It makes him feel really good.

* * *

The impossible happens and he's alone in the world, the ground ripped out from beneath his feet by yellow and red lightning.

* * *

Joe gets him a binder for his birthday for the first time when Barry's turning fourteen. 

He already has breasts, and he hates them.

It's just another reminder of how he's wrong, wrong, _wrong_ outside.

But it isn't as bad as getting his period for the first time, which also happens that year-for both him and Iris. 

* * *

He tells almost nobody that he wasn't born in the right body after that. (He always tries to say that instead of "being born in a boy's body" because he's a boy, and it's  _his_ body, so that means it's a boy's body. Right?)

The people who find out and are okay with it are the only ones that deserve to know.

Obviously, Felicity can find pretty much anything. So she probably already knows. (Which means that there's an extremely high probability that Oliver knows if she does.)

Caitlin, Cisco, and Wells know. But they don't being it up for anything more than Caitlin's standard health questions. They're uncomfortable to answer but that's okay. And Cisco's usual teasing always stops short of that mark.

* * *

Really, one of the worst things about it is the fact that running with a binder is hard-but running at superspeed with a binder in an already tight suit is even harder.

Just  _wearing_ it is mostly okay (it's actually not that uncomfortable), but running is pretty bad. Oh, he still loves it, but now he has to worry about getting enough air into his lungs.

There are all sorts of problems that can come from binding too much or binding improperly. Just because Barry himself hasn't had them yet doesn't mean that he won't in the future.

It used to be that he would jog around his neighborhood in a sports bra and a loose sweatshirt, and nobody would be any wiser.

But if at any moment he may have to go help out with a crime or house fire, there's no time for that-even on his off days.

Once, Caitlin practically had to strap him down to the medical bed that they kept in STAR to get the binder off of him when she found out that he hadn't taken it off since two days before hand.

Actually, she  _did_ have to strap him down. Even though he probably could have escaped, Barry still let her. He at least understood that it was hazardous for his health.

Iris hit him with a book when he told her.

* * *

There's still that  _wrongness_ when someone calls him "miss" or "she" or "woman." Usually it's the criminals. They don't always know that he isn't actually a cop, and the guilty ones will do almost anything to get under an officer's skin.

Eddie, surprisingly enough, is often the one to stick up for him if Joe is not there. Xe found out on accident-Barry was crashing at Iris and Eddie's place without his binder and Eddie walked in to pick up xyr girlfriend for a date night-but was still okay with it. 

One day Eddie asks him to stop calling xem a boy and start using a different set of pronouns. Barry still uses the old ones sometimes in his head ( _xe not he,_  he tries to remember)but always corrects himself either out loud or in his head.

* * *

That part of his life is one of the most stable ones.

It's pretty weird when he thinks about it. 

But with all of the metahumans and Iris dating Eddie and powers and crime stopping and other heroes (or vigilantes or whatever else they prefer to be called), having to wear a binder and dealing with things that usually only a girl would have to suddenly seems like the least of his problems.

And you know what?

Maybe that's okay. After all...

He's the fastest man alive, right?


End file.
